100 Ways to Unnecessarily Complicate Your Life

1. Sugar your own gas tank
2. Become a vegan
3. Sleep standing
4. Hunt extinct animals
5. Eat while exercising
6. Repeat, rinse, THEN lather
7. Divide by 0
8. Vodka + laxatives
9. Burn your possessions
10.Download viruses
11. Lift with your back
12. Staple your feet
13. Practice yodeling on public transit
14. Count everybody you see
15. Deep-fry diet
16. Put plants in a dark closet
17. Tell daughter she was adopted
18. Sneak around
19. Compost seafood in your bedroom
20. Fight Kintaro from MKII
21. Swim upstream
22. Abandon clothing
23. Rhyme things with orange
24. Drive English, make only left turns
25. Turn off lights with entrance, on with exit
26. Limp
27. Speak only in metaphor
28. Use an outhouse
29. Pull your teeth, wear falsies
30. Fall in love with a lesbian
31. Carry guns and daggers in suitcase
32. Enter barking competition with a dog
33. Eat rocks
34. Trespass
35. Make E>MC2
34. Send out ransom letters
35. Play golf in a thunderstorm
36. Shout at children
37. Slide when slippery
38. Tattoo a black smear on your face and black fingertips
39. Feed wildlife
40. Masturbate without using hands
41. Funerals + Fireworks
42. Scream death metal in church
43. Measure once, cut twice
44. Never ask directions
45. Hitchhike nude (see 22)
46. Spike the punch
47. Slapshot breakaway
48. Burp inappropriately during prayers
49. Skate on thin ice
50. Get an arts degree
51. Become a Leafs fan
52. Grammatically correct everybody
53. Find square root of 53
54. Join SETI
55. Make online dating profile with name cuddlebearz
56. Beer before liquor
57. Diamond encrusted gloves
58. Play with matches, build little huts and set them aflame
59. Jagerbombs + final exams
60. Raise 7,2 off-suit every time
61. Sleep with ex...at her place
62. Catnap only
63. Download celine dion ringtone
64. Catch a snarf
65. Stones + glass houses
66. Hide Waldo
67. Complete a cat's cradle
68. Brush teeth with steel wool
69. 'Dyer's Eve' on expert** drums
70. Address porn subscriptions to mother's house
71. Punch a kangaroo
72. Befriend pedophiles
73. Advance money to Nigerian prince
74. Ecstasy + Shakira on repeat
75. Pretend to be a doctor, diagnose and treat patients
76. Encourage vengeful aggression in children
77. Use diapers
78. Mix and match cleaner and beverage containers
79. Offer drugs to junkies, then withdraw offer
80. Smoke in hospitals
81. Hit on the bride
82. Join Greenpeace and hunt seals
83. Cheat at solitaire
84. Keep bees
85. Take the stairs
86. Pick Kung Fu alley fights
87. Photocopy revealing photos of yourself and post them around town
88. Righty loosey, lefty tighty
89. Break mirrors, spill salt
90. Climb without ropes
91. Overload an outlet with useless appliances
92. Funny beards in professional situations
93. Wallpaper your windows
94. Chant for the away team
95. Eat batteries
96. Bring fast food to weight loss clinic
97. Turn volume up to 11
98. Rhubarb meatloaf
99. Reverse vacuum/sweep
100. Change bills for coins