Unsuitable Campfire Stories

[This story began as a morally-charged rant on humanity's abject contempt for its fellow species and the Darwinian hubris we use to justify extincting them. I should mention that extinctions do not upset me as they used to - Every species will run its course. There is a long cast of dead brothers and sisters in this evolutionary play and we too will be written out when our taxonomic judgement arrives. The story quickly meandered, as they will do under heavy sedation, and came out with a very different, bitter moral about false conveniences.]

I heard recently about one of the greatest tragedies of animal extinction in our short time. The annia was raised to be of use to some ancient Mesopotamian peoples. Its head and body resembled a bull or buffalo but it had cat-like tail and legs. And it flew.

People found that this flying bull-tiger-beast, the annia, was actually quite docile and useful for getting around. They could ride on the creature's back and arrive much faster at their destinations - homes, markets, primitive whorehouses, and so on.

Eventually everyone had an annia. Purple, blue, and green ones, matching ones, two-headed ones. It was really quite a sight.

But the beast had rare violent outbursts, maiming other creatures and occasionally their handlers. People blamed handler misuse to justify their continued breeding and use of the beast as a means of transportation.

The flying bull-tigers grew in such numbers they began devouring any available crops and foliage. They nearly starved their owners. Still, people were stubbornly resolute. Quick and easy transport was worth the burden of handling these beasts. So they continued breeding the annia, whizzing around happily, occasionally getting maimed.

Soon the annia were so numerous they drinking up all the water in the nearby lakes and rivers. People even began providing water from their early aquifers, completely draining the great underground reservoirs.

Facing drought, famine, and violent attacks, the ancient peoples finally deliberated about the use of their beloved annia. They decided they no longer had a use for the burdensome creature. A small group was sent to gather them all.

Angered with the current state of their land, their determination knew no limits. The gang succeeded in rounding up every last living annia in their known world and extincted them -

The beasts were piled into a scrapyard where one by one their tires were yanked from their axles, their interiors stripped, and their bodies crushed into tiny metal cubes so they could no longer maim, starve, or impoverish people. The cubes were piled up into a giant statue of two feet touching together with a plaque reminding everybody to 'Walk and make friends along the way.'

Photo: Brock Davis www.designboom.com